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Lets start with the two basic ones and well go from there. . Episode 023: Emotional Shutdown - Psychiatry & Psychotherapy Podcast It is in large part a biological reaction that was ingrained in the structures of the central nervous system through certain parenting practices in childhood. Here is a summary of the Fearful-Avoidant insecure attachment style: It's fairly uncommon, only around 2% of people have it. listeners: [], He completed a mental health assessment about four months ago, following a referral from his school due to behavioral concerns, poor attendance and "possible issues with marijuana and other substances.". As far as attachment-specific books, there are several out there but I havent read them, the only one Id definitelyavoid is Attached (the one with the magnet on the cover). We have survived a lot, and can be very resilient and good in a crisis. A lot of the times when an FA has someone that comes in and tries to do a lot of things for them, they dont feel deserving of it, because of the core wound that they have inside of them already. It is comparable to a breakup in every way but physical. For example, if you think I cant get too involved with someone. In general, a withdrawer starts to avoid whenever they recognize an emotion that they don't know how to manage. Avoidant people may also be uncomfortable with physical or emotional closeness or with direct confrontation or being emotionally open or vulnerable. Avoidants tend to avoid deep conversations, closeness, and physical contact with other people. We dont know when to move towards or when to move away, and its confusing to our partners and to ourselves. How to Get an Avoidant to Chase You: 12 Ways Relationup.com What to Do When Your Kid Refuses to Go to School - US News & World Report Avoidants typically deactivate their emotions for long periods of time as a means of avoiding any type of emotional connection. A lot of the work of healing FA is changing your relationship with yourself to be loving and self-validating, and not self-critical.