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Wish him good luck. Instead of overthinking about what they might want, you should focus on where you stand in this whole situation. No but an ex reached out to me after 15 years to commiserate because hes stuck in a bad marriage and a bald, portly man now. And also, if youre looking for 1-on-1 help with your ex, check out our coaching page. My ex reached out to me about 15 years after we broke up. Want to know more? But if youre reconnecting with an ex after 10 years or so, they might be texting you out of a sense of nostalgia and friendliness. His entire purpose was to find out truth from me. Signs And Coping Tips, 15 Speed Dating Dos and Donts You Need To Know, How To Start A Conversation With A Girl: 20 Ways That Never Fail, 10 Ways To Tell Your Parents You Have A Girlfriend, Dealing With An Insecure Boyfriend? Reaching out to an ex after months or years later. Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? But just because it's possible, it doesn't mean that it will happen on your terms. A part of me feels like I need to give him closure and I'm not sure how? However, the primary reason the no contact rule works is that you're not supposed to respond to your ex. Youll set your own pace and see if your ex agrees. If that's what he needs from me I'm afraid my reaction might not offer much comfort. Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. I'd be more likely to reach out to his wife and apologize for not seeing sooner how hurt she was, and that I was being selfish (I was, entirely). She said marriage is hard, so its possible she finally reflected and realized she was very mean to you after the breakup. I had an ex find me 12 years after we broke up and reached out to me. Once you give in to the temptation and reply to their message, you might be left utterly confused about their motivation for texting you. When an ex contacts you years later, you need to focus on why they became your ex in the first place. Now that you are planning your life with a new person, the chances of your ex-partner getting back together with you are practically zero. It will only convey the message that you are still miserably hung up on them. And some friendships just arent built to handle the transitions and changes that we go through in life as we grow and develop. First, it helps normalize our experience and our feelings. You dont owe anyone an explanation for not responding. To handle an ex coming back with dignity, you should ponder on all the probable scenarios to stay a step ahead of them.